Nine Warning Signs of Depression in a Loved One
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide in Australia. On average 1 in 5 women and 1 in 8 men will experience some level of depression in their lifetime. Unfortunately, it is estimated that only 35% of Australians with anxiety and depression access treatment … many of these people may never even open up to others about their struggles. It is valuable for friends and/or loved ones to be aware of some of the warning signs of depression so that they can offer help as early as soon as possible.
They have lost interest in once pleasurable activities:
He used to go to the gym religiously, he’d always say that this was his favourite time of the day … but he hasn’t been in months. She used to be in a band, she had dreams of moving to LA to pursue her dream of becoming a singer … but then she decided to quit the band, now she doesn’t even sing in the shower. A loss of interest in activities that were once pleasurable – also known as anhedonia – appears to affect many people with depressive disorder. It becomes impossible to enjoy activities that once gave you a sense of excitement such as food, sports, music or social outings.
Changes in sleeping patterns: Does your friend always appear to be tired? Do they speak about how little sleep they’ve been getting lately? Or perhaps they do nothing but sleep? Do they lack the motivation to engage in daily activities because they’d much rather spend the entire day in bed? Changes in sleeping patterns are common in people who are experiencing depression. Research has found similar neurochemical patterns between people with depression as well as people with insomnia. On the other hand, many people experiencing depression may oversleep due to their low levels or energy and motivation, often preferring sleep to facing reality.
Alcohol and drug misuse: Depression is a mental illness that frequently occurs with substance use. Many people use alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism in order to alleviate feelings of sadness, guilt or despair. However substances such as alcohol and some drugs are depressants and can sometimes increase feelings of sadness or fatigue. In addition to this, alcohol and drug misuse may impact other major areas of life such as relationships, work, study or self-care thereby increasing feelings of hopelessness, sadness or frustration.
Social isolation/withdrawing: In the past they would suggest social outings every week, they’d sit with the family at dinnertime and they’d never miss someone’s birthday. Lately however, they always seem to be busy or tired or perhaps they didn’t see the message whenever you ask them to do something. Social withdrawal is a common symptom of depression that can appear to happen either gradually or abruptly. Depression can often make socialising or having a conversation in general feel as if it is a big effort that they just don’t have the energy for. Even the thought of getting ready and going out can seem overwhelming and so it becomes a much more favourable to stay at home and avoid others.
Expressing negative thoughts: “It doesn’t matter what I do, nothing ever changes” … “I’m never going to amount to anything anyway” … “I don’t think things will ever get better for me”. People living with depression often find themselves ‘stuck’ in a mindset by which they are constantly ruminating over the negative events in their lives, their perceived flaws or the anguish that is yet to come. While they may not necessarily want to think this way and may even attempt to change their perception it can often be difficult to break this pattern.
Self-harm: Self-harm is a more obvious warning sign of depression. People self-harm for a number of different reasons including a release of frustration or anger, substituting emotional pain for physical pain, to feel something when periods of numbness arise (this is common in depression too), to distract oneself from negative thought patterns or painful memories, a form of 'punishment' for ones perceived flaws among many other reasons. Self-harm should always be taken seriously and in these instances it is important that you encourage your loved one to engage in both informal and formal supports.
Angry/Irritable: Freud referred to depression as “anger turned inwards”, while there is a lot more to depression than this anger does appear to play a role in depression. Many people experiencing depression are extremely self-critical and often experience feelings of unworthiness and shame often resulting in feelings of frustration towards oneself. Others displace this frustration onto others often making them seem quite irritable. If you have noticed a sudden shift in your loved ones anger or irritability this may be a sign that something else is going on for them.
Overeating or under eating: Often when someone is experiencing depression his or her eating habits tend to change in one-way or another. In some instances, people tend to overeat; they may turn to food as a source of comfort and to lift their mood. However this sense of relief is usually only temporary and later may intensify ones underlying feelings of guilt, sadness or negative self worth. Conversely, other people may find themselves feeling too exhausted to prepare meals and some may lose their appetite completely. Once again this appears to have a negative impact long term in that many of these people may find themselves feeling even more exhausted as they are not consuming enough nutrients throughout the day thereby also adding to feelings of fatigue and hopelessness.
Suicidal ideation: Some people with depression may make comments such as “I don’t care if I die” … “Life just doesn’t have meaning any more” or “I just want everything to stop” … in some instances people may even directly tell you that they are thinking of suicide. It is important to always take suicidal thoughts, ideation or intent seriously and to act accordingly in these situations. If you are worried that a loved one is thinking about suicide the best way to find out is to ask them directly, be prepared to listen, offer your support and to assist them to get professional support.
For a list of telephone services (in Australia) that may be useful in these situations click here, however if the situation is urgent it is important that you call emergency services immediately (000).While there are a number of other warning signs and symptoms of depression it is important that we start to become more aware of what these look like. If you do suspect depression in your loved one it is important that you encourage them to seek out support from a professional.
You may also find it useful to have a read of my blog around how to best support a loved one through a mental illness. This may not only be beneficial to them but also for your own mental well being in the long run.