Is Social Media Making You Lonely?

Back in the days of the cave men, we needed some sort of relationship with others in order to survive. We depended on others for protection from other tribes, collecting food or building shelter. If you found yourself alone there was a good chance that feelings of anxiety would arise … as you were probably at risk of dying. While this may not necessarily be the case in today’s society, a lack of social connection can still have devastating effects on our physical and mental wellbeing.

A number of surveys have found that loneliness is on the rise, with one in two adults feeling lonely at least one day in a week. In the past, when people were asked how many close friends they had the most common answer was about three … today the most common answer is zero. While there may be a number of factors at play here, it is interesting to note that many of these trends have become apparent around the same time as the rise in use of social media. Could these two be connected … and if so, how?

In a recent study, 1787 young adults filled out questionnaires to determine their daily and weekly patterns of social media use across 11 social media platforms. The results of this study found that participants who used social media for more than two hours a day had twice the odds for reporting social isolation than those who spent less than 30 minutes using social media per day. Furthermore, those who visited various social media platforms 58 or more times per week were three times more likely to experience social isolation than those who visited social media platforms less than nine times per week.

So why are we seeing these trends? There could be a few reasons.

Feeling excluded: We’ve all experienced it. Scrolling through your feed when you see a post, or a snap chat of a group of your friends all out for dinner … and you weren’t invited. Events such as these happen all of the time and become apparent primarily through social media often leading to us feeling excluded, inadequate, unimportant and alone. A lot of the time, these posts are not done maliciously and the person themselves may not have even been specifically excluded, however interpreting them this way will more often than not lead to negative emotions and feelings of isolation.

Self comparison: Scrolling through your Facebook or Instagram feed, it’s easy to feel that everyone is either better looking, has more friends, is more successful, more popular or just has a better life than you. In the past we were primarily exposed to these sorts of idealised representations of people in magazines or movies but now … it’s everywhere. It’s easy to feel disconnected from others when we start to feel inferior or insecure in their shadow. This could also lead to us withdrawing from social situations due to feelings of low self-esteem or inadequacy.

Less time for real world interactions: It’s important to note that while greater social media use and greater feelings of social isolation do appear to be related it is not necessarily the case that one causes the other. While social media may trigger feelings of loneliness it is also the case that people that are experiencing more loneliness may turn to social media as a coping mechanism. Social media can lead to less time taking part in 'real life’ interactions in a couple of ways. It may be the case that an increase in social media activity or perhaps an addiction to spending time on social media may cause people to disengage from real life conversations or outings and therefore miss opportunities for new (or existing) relationships to be formed. It may also be the case that people who are already feeling lonely tend to spend more time on social media as a substitute for the lack of meaningful relationships in their lives. Either way, this can be problematic and may even lead to anxiety around social situations due to a lack of exposure to it.

Replacement for what’s missing in life: Don’t have many friends? Here are a whole bunch of Facebook friends! Upset with your relationship? Post a few photos with cute captions to prove how happy you are! Feeling alone? Chat to people online! While these might seem like viable solutions to these problems, in reality it just doesn’t have the same effect. Yes, this is a better option than having little or no communication with others however it does not foster the same level of closeness, relationship growth and connection that face to face contact does. Furthermore, it may also lead to us becoming dependent on social media in order to fill this void.

Is it all negative?

Definitely not! Social media does have some great benefits. For example, one study suggested that social media may help introverted young people develop some social skills. Social media is also a great way to assist in the sharing of resources around a variety of topics. Social media platforms might even help us to communicate with others more easily, particularly when there are barriers to face to face communication and could even increase our sense of connection. It is not necessarily the case that social media will directly cause loneliness.

More often than not it is the way in which it is used, the reasons why we use it and the way in which we perceive what we see on it that may have these effects.Granted, there may be a number of other factors that contribute to what is appearing to be a loneliness epidemic however the impact of social media should not be undermined. It might be worth considering how disconnecting from technology every once in a while might help you reconnect with your relationships in the 'real world'.