What is Emotional Intelligence?
When most of us hear the word intelligence, we usually think of someone’s IQ. We might envision a doctor or a lawyer or maybe that well-spoken colleague at work. We may not necessarily consider the man who is able to diffuse a heated argument between two very angry people or the girl who is able to keep cool, calm and collected in the most awkward of social situations. What most of us don’t consider is the concept of emotional intelligence. So what is emotional intelligence? And how can it be used to our advantage?
Emotional intelligence is a theory that was developed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer and can be broadly defined as the ability to perceive, understand and manage ones own emotions as well as the emotions of others. People with a high emotional intelligence are generally able to reflect on and regulate their own emotions in order to further their emotional, intellectual and social progression. These people are very adept to social cues and will very often observe and engage in both intrapersonal and interpersonal reflection.
Emotional intelligence plays a critical role in our professional, educational, social and personal lives however it is still a relatively new concept that we are slowly learning more and more about. Daniel Goleman, a science journalist who brought emotional intelligence to light, proposed five core components that appear to be essential to emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness: This refers to ones ability to honestly recognise, understand and interpret the emotions, moods, drives and triggers of themselves as well as those of others. These people are able to recognise the impact that their emotions may have on their actions and vice versa and openly reflect on their strengths and weaknesses. People with a higher self-awareness are also open to new experiences and make an effort to learn from their interactions with others.
Managing emotions: Self-awareness is one thing, but what comes next is the ability to manage the emotions one has become aware of. Managing ones emotions does not necessarily refer to suppressing them or simply not feeling as upset, angry or stressed. It instead refers to the ability to express ones emotions in a mature, appropriate and effective manner in order to avoid internal and external conflict, stress or senseless emotional distress.
Self-motivation: Intrinsic motivation refers to the passion to pursue ones goals for internal reasons such as joy, purpose or curiosity rather than money or status. Self-motivated people tend to have a high need for achievement and are always looking to improve, learn and better themselves.
Empathy: Empathy refers to the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person and respond to others based on your perception of their current state. These people are able to recognise what a person needs in any given moment or situation and respond accordingly.
Handling relationships: The ability to interact effectively and meaningfully with others is a crucial part of emotional intelligence. It’s all well and good to become aware of and learn to manage ones emotions but an emotionally intelligent person must also have the ability to build rapport, establish a common ground and build meaningful relationships with others within their day to day life.While emotional intelligence is still a fairly novel concept, research has suggested that having a higher emotional intelligence may be correlated with higher levels of success in the workplace – particularly within leadership positions. Understandably so, emotional intelligence is also highly correlated with more meaningful relationships and a general increase in likeability.
While it has become apparent that individuals operate from different emotional starting places; largely dependent on their parental upbringing and environment throughout childhood – emotional intelligence is a skill that can be and should be worked upon. While some people may find that practical activities centered on mindful reflection and awareness to ones internal and external world may be all that is needed; others may benefit from sessions with a psychologist.
No matter the avenue, emotional intelligence is a skill set that should be consistently worked upon in order to develop meaningful relationships, reach ones professional and nonprofessional goals and maintain both internal and external peace.